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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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Holding Back

My family has made a decision to cut back on electronics... you can read about it here. Surprisingly enough, I think this is good for my family in many ways. Already today, my siblings and I have interacted a lot more, and have made some great memories! I will learn to manage my time better. I also think that the computer was slowly wrapping its pixelated talons around my life, and that I needed to get it off!

Anyway, us kids will only have one hour on weekdays, and an hour and a half on weekends. I will do my best to post at least once a week, and probably on Tuesdays and Fridays. Unfortunately, replying to comments will probably suffer, too, as much as I wish it won't. Anyway, please understand that since my time is now limited, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just not able to respond, although I do read every single comment.

I may be able to email some of my close friends, if you would like... I will try to respond to those as frequently as I can.

Blessings,
~Kylie
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